Jah Jah Dub

Friday, September 29, 2006

If fruits were characters from Streetfighter II:

Apple: Ryu
Orange: Ken
Banana: Guile
Satsuma: Chun-li
Pear: Dhalsim
Mango: Blanka
Melon: E. Honda
Grape: Zangief

Without googling, what do you think this is?

Es brillig war. Die schlichten Toven
Wirrten und wimmelten in Waben;
Und aller-mümsige Burggoven
Die mohmen Räth' ausgraben.


Thursday, September 28, 2006

5ive reform:

But how many people, other than fans, can remember any of their songs, possibly apart from the Queen cover, We Will Rock You?

A question worth asking, because what is the point of a group reforming if they barely made inroads on the collective consciousness in the first place?


Slam Dunk (Da Funk)
Got The Feelin'
Everybody Get Up
If Ya Gettin' Down
Keep On Movin'

They were great. Welcome back, boys.

Now, I actually quite like Catherine Bennett (apart from that lame Norman Johnson spoof - is that still running?); but much of this article is ridiculous. So why I am telling you about it? Will I at least explain what I find silly about it?

No. I can't be bothered.

Mary Ann Sieghart in the Times, on Blair's conference speech:

The Conservatives can'’t believe their luck. One Tory texted a colleague of mine during the speech to say, "Thank God he'’s going."” They won'’t miss him when he's gone, but Labour certainly will. For none of the leadership contenders, Gordon Brown included, has Blair's extraordinary gift of being able to convert people to his cause. Conservative-inclined journalists admitted to me after the speech that they were swept away by his arguments and had to shake themselves to try to remember why it was that they used to hold a different view.

I watched the speech on the internet last night. I mean, did you see it?

But we've decided he's through, so that's it. The party thinks that Mr Bean will be more the ticket.

Lots of luck with that.


Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Eleven months on.

They have new troops; but ours are battle-hardened. We have nous, and traps.

You must die, my friend.


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Finished watching the first series of House yesterday; it's great, I don't care what you say. I can't quite be bothered gathering the evidence, but British reviewers often make reference to Hugh Laurie's wonky American accent. American reviewers never do this. They either say that it's spot-on, or they tell you with delight that the actor really is - honestly - English.

Having said that, if you've followed Laurie's career for a long time you do get those "is-this-a-dream?" moments. One of the final scenes of the last episode has Dr House is having a deep emotional moment, wallowing in the picture quality and soundtrack ("You Can't Always Get What You Want") that only American big-budget television can provide. Hang on, I suddenly thought, that guy there - the hero of the piece, the hero of this, one of the biggest American shows - that's only Hugh Laurie!

Hugh Laurie!


Monday, September 25, 2006

I watched "Reader, I married him" last night. It was really good: a load of sparky women talking about stuff they like. That shouldn't seem unusual, but it did.

I'm thinking about getting into Go. Where would I buy a board and "stones"?


Friday, September 22, 2006

I mean, seriously, Mark Lawson. What are you supposed to do with Mark Lawson? I know it's his job, but this really is astonishingly sanctimonious.
The astonishing fact is that, on recent statistics, television presenting is a more dangerous profession than formula one motor racing. If a theme-park rollercoaster had a similar attrition rate, it would immediately be closed down.

Nice one, Mark.
But while no one would wish Richard Hammond anything but hope and health, his accident should eventually lead to a serious reflection on whether there might be a connection between the kind of item he was filming and the way in which our road system daily reduces the potential audience for such shows.

The reverse "empty sympathy/but". Textbook Lawson.
For war reporters this (risking one's life) is a noble and sustainable justification. But telly entertainments about crocodiles or dragsters - which generate no light but only heat - are certainly not worth the price of a life.

Shut up, you tart. Racing against jet-powered kayaks in Iceland is better than talking to Germaine Greer about the new Zadie Smith novel. Typical spoddy fat kid's resentment of the cool kids having fun.

Oh, and:

1994: 3578 road users killed.
2005: 3201 road users killed.

Just saying.


Tuesday, September 19, 2006

I'm finding it hard to shake off my summer blogging torpor, so in the meantime, some links:


Friday, September 15, 2006

So, the final of the Marias tomorrow. Who's your money on?

It's a public vote, but thanks to Lloyd Webber's interventions, there's no one that's easy to warm to left in the competition. No Abi, no Simona: what's a boy to do?

It pains me to say this, but I think Connie (Alanshearermaria) may be my choice. Professional and uninspiring the whole way through , she has led from the front. But what's the competition?

Helena (Ropeymaria): I've warmed to her a lot. She's not as stage school as I'd first thought. She's really quite sweet. But she's overachieved.

Siobhan (Futurecokeheadmaria): has come from behind but must surely be the favourite. A few weeks ago she seemed a pretty ingenue, just discovering her talent. Now the faux-naif mask is slipping, and the scheming egotist is revealed.

For yuks you could vote for Helena, but I say Connie - let's stop Siobhan. That'll teach that pretty, sweet girl!


Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Hello there.

Well, it's been a while. August was full of things I meant to mention but didn't. Now things are settling down again, a quick round up:

Holiday to France - great. Couple of stories to tell, will do so when I get round to uploading my photos.

Going to see the Rolling Stones in Cardiff - also great. Alice Cooper was, like, just beside us. As was Nassar Hussein, Mike Atherton and Andy Townsend. Worth pointing out how good Mick was - he carried the rest of those auto-piloting chancers.

The second series of the Wire* confirms its place as my favourite TV program. It shows up the Sopranos for what it is - a violent, sweary soap opera. That's fine, but yeah, it can get boring; as can I, of course, especially when talking about the Wire in pubs. I realise that my enthusiasm probably puts people off. So it goes, all the more for me.

Some other stuff. To be updated.

* Series 3 has just been DVD'd in America. Glad it's not here yet - it would be terrible to get Wire-fatigue before season 4, which has just started in the States. Check out those reviews.


Friday, September 08, 2006

Makes me think about getting a guitar again.

UPDATE! I mean, of course, "makes me think about trying to be Hugh Laurie again."

I just noticed that the office opposite mine was empty. I was all prepped to roll on in, take photos of myself sliding those chairs around. I poked a glancing head around the door; someone was in there.

It's only a matter of time.


Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Popjustice sticks it to that self-promoting old old bore Banksy.


Monday, September 04, 2006

Watched a music channel the other day, for the first time in ages. Some thoughts:

1) Blink 182's All the Small Things is a tune. I didn't notice at the time, more fool me. You never know what you have until you lose it. See also: Sum 41.

Dont it always seem to go
That you dont know what youve got
Till its gone

2)Once again masturbators drive culture. On this particular channel - possibly The Hits (TBC) - they now have a little screen in the corner showing "the Gimp" (basically a guy dressed like Robbie Williams in the Let Me Entertain You video). People text in and get him to do things - just like those bored women in lingerie who chat to each other and read out texts: "Show us your bum. Daz".

NB This may be incomprehensible to anyone without Sky.

3) Fergie's London Bridge is like M.I.A.'s Bucky Done Gun, only better.

Actually, thinking about it, I bloody hate M.I.A. She's always all like, "I don't fit in anywhere, I'm so crazy." Right. Nice one.

M.I.A. : ooh, identity

I see Steve Irwin's dead.

So I haven't been blogging for a while. There are good reasons for this, namely: I can't be bothered; I'm all about the reading. But the dots can be joined: I've started a new blog. It's on this vox thing - annoyingly it seems like you can't comment unless you have a profile: email me or comment if you want one. I know that most people aren't interested in my thoughts on books and that, so I've separated it out.


Sunday, September 03, 2006

Dennis Leary atones for his numerous sins with this video:

Via normblog.


Saturday, September 02, 2006

Who's your favourite Maria? Simona, Siobhan and Abi, in that order.

The winner will be Connie.

I can't believe it took me until last week to watch the thing.


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