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Thursday, May 31, 2007

If I was to be put in the all-female Big Brother House on Friday, who would I hang out with?

The twins, I think. ("So you have a blog and like Bruce Springsteen? Wooo!")

Update: Chanelle may just be great.

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

A post I was thinking about but can't be bothered structuring: similarities between David Beckham and Tony Blair. There are dozens of parallels - you'll enjoy it more if you pick your own.

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Thursday, May 24, 2007

Social etiquette: it is vulgar to fill in the "how I know this person" section of a Facebook friend request.


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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

I see I have written in my notepad, "Hanging with Matt Damon".

I remember now: I was in bed and I wrote it in the dark; I'd watched the Bourne Identity that night.

I was working out (I think) what my celebrity posse would be, were I famous. Baylen Leonard would be in, for sure. Stephen Merchant too, perhaps; I'm not sure I like him, but I think we would be friends - he's about the right age.

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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

My best ever post.

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If you saw me between 2002 and 2004 chances are I was wearing the following:



Well, that's all in the bin.

Please, I can't talk about it any more lest I chase the van.

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The credits were a pleasing Three Men and a Little Lady* fluorescent. The sets are rather bright.

Again I say it, again today: what a cast! Hugo Weaving, Kevin McKidd, Simon Callow, Natasha Walter (!), Tom Hollander!

Just realised: I'm drifting into live blogging this. So be it.

So this gay guy (Kevin McKidd) has joined a male-group. One of those pass the conch shell kind of deals. Simon Callow is leading said group. He's reining in his default thundering and declaiming; luckily his more gentle persona is balanced out by Tom Hollander's purple suit. A purple suit? He's gay, see? Tom Hollander was on quite a roll back then, this followed hot on the heels of Martha, Meet Frank, Daniel and Laurence.

You won't be surprised to hear that this group of sharing men is treated satirically.

Gay Kev has just confessed a crush on James Purefoy. They will meet again in Rome, of course.

Oh! Embarrassment has ensued over Kev's confession! The '90s: a sexual minefield.

A dream sequence! With kissing and everything! Priceless.

Tom (on answering phone): It's for you.

Kevin: Who is it?

Tom: I don't know. But his voice washed over me like a dark powerful river.

***

These are the least convincing gay men I've ever seen: homosexuality signified through puppyish friendliness and colourful jumpers.

***

Oh, this is bloody ridiculous.


* First video I ever owned.

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Well, Bedrooms and Hallways is certainly painting a realistic yet beguiling portrait of late-'90s sexual mores.

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Monday, May 14, 2007

I watched a filmed version of a 1995 stage production of The Rover yesterday. They remorselessly wrung all the comedy out of it. But what a cast! Daniel "Casino Royale" Craig, Dougray "Mission Impossible 2" Scott, Andy "Lord of the Rings" Serkis and Danny "Tongue Tied" John-Jules. Ruinous music by Nitin Sawhney.


Adsheartlikins!

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Sunday, May 13, 2007

Sad, but it may be time to pull out of the Eurovision song contest.

I know that everyone always votes for their neighbours (Bosnia awarded top marks to Serbia. Serbia!), and Europe's a big place, but other countries have homosexuals, right? What more did they want from us?

Britain gave top marks to Turkey. The song was dire, but the belly dancers were British. Well done everyone.

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Friday, May 11, 2007

It's strange, this Blair leaving thing: the papers are all "universally loathed"-this, "deeply unpopular"-that. Really? I don't buy it. Among people who comment on the Guardian blog, sure: they're largely mental. Perhaps it's because there's no prospect of a change in political direction, but there doesn't seem much jubilation out there. At work yesterday it didn't come up. No one even mentioned it.

Alice Miles
says you'll miss him when he's gone.

Missing him already.

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Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Does anyone else like Prince? I can't remember. He's playing in London this summer. Tickets on sale Friday morning.

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The Guardian is really embarrassing itself over the French election: another article forcing France to be the UK's opposite (and obvious superior). We really need to get over this crush. The truth is, France doesn't really matter. It's a nice country, if a little parochial and conservative, and it's really similar to Britain*.

French people aren't any better dressed (I mean, you have seen French people, right?), and their much-lauded sexual maturity seems a lot like hypocrisy and misogyny from here. But that doesn't matter: they needn't be any more chic, or exciting, or relaxed, or big-hearted. They needn't be a projection of things we wish we were. Besides, it's not a competition; and if it was, there would be more entrants.


* The French: the Countryside Alliance with softer cheese.

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Tuesday, May 08, 2007

This Guardian "how did the arts do under Labour" thing continues to gnaw at me.

Civilised people agree: no government money should ever be spent on the culture industry. As with the coal mines, so with the ICA. Of course?

Of course.

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Monday, May 07, 2007

An important question:

What happened to dance under Blair?

Do you think it's time we stopped holding the government responsible for everything that happens in the country?

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Wednesday, May 02, 2007

I'm sure you've seen this story already.

"Teachers have refused to stop an annual striptease by pupils despite a video of an onstage lesbian love romp ending up on YouTube."

"But officials at the school in Denmark are fighting to hold onto the annual event.

A spokesman said: 'The girls' teachers vote as the best get the best places on the tables in the canteen.'

Erik Olesen, head teacher at Silkeborg said everyone, including the school governors, had known about the contest and described it as 'harmless fun'."

I've watched the video (I make these sacrifices in the name of fact-checking) and it's as described: kids dancing in their underwear.

Now, there's liberal, enlightened attitudes to sexuality, and there's making children strip for canteen places.

The Danes: brilliant.

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