Thursday, November 30, 2006
I've been remiss in watching I'm a Celebrity this year. My loss.
Everyone's saying it, but David Gest makes it. Yesterday, for his own amusement, he tested people on the "two word game". It started with Leeming.
Gest: Jan, is Jason arborino or artalini?
Leeming: Artalini.
Gest: No. He is arborino. Is he satarid, or proculin?
Leeming: He is proculin.
Gest: He is satarid.
It reached its purest state with Dean Gaffney.
Gest: OK, Dean. "Brandido" or "salanca"?
Gaffney: Ummm... Brandido!
Gest: No. Salanca.
Gaffney: OK.
Gest: "Malatino", or "crabula"?
Gaffney: Crabula, definitely.
Gest: No. Malatino.
Gaffney: Of course!
Gest: Dean, I love you, but you're terrible at this game. You just don't think about it hard enough.
Gaffney: No, no! Again! I'm getting the hang of this now.
Gest: Ok. Ok. "Rollandest" or "grontonin"?
Gaffney: Grontonin?
Gest: No. Sorry. You're not concentrating. I love you, but you're not concentrating.
Gaffney: Ok. Again!
This lasted about five minutes. Gest was entirely po-faced. I was on the brink of hysteria.
UPDATE! For those of you who may still be suspicious of the charms of the Gest, check out this story from the Sun.
Yesterday he told Jan Leeming that he gets people in every morning to brush his teeth.
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Everyone's saying it, but David Gest makes it. Yesterday, for his own amusement, he tested people on the "two word game". It started with Leeming.
Gest: Jan, is Jason arborino or artalini?
Leeming: Artalini.
Gest: No. He is arborino. Is he satarid, or proculin?
Leeming: He is proculin.
Gest: He is satarid.
It reached its purest state with Dean Gaffney.
Gest: OK, Dean. "Brandido" or "salanca"?
Gaffney: Ummm... Brandido!
Gest: No. Salanca.
Gaffney: OK.
Gest: "Malatino", or "crabula"?
Gaffney: Crabula, definitely.
Gest: No. Malatino.
Gaffney: Of course!
Gest: Dean, I love you, but you're terrible at this game. You just don't think about it hard enough.
Gaffney: No, no! Again! I'm getting the hang of this now.
Gest: Ok. Ok. "Rollandest" or "grontonin"?
Gaffney: Grontonin?
Gest: No. Sorry. You're not concentrating. I love you, but you're not concentrating.
Gaffney: Ok. Again!
This lasted about five minutes. Gest was entirely po-faced. I was on the brink of hysteria.
UPDATE! For those of you who may still be suspicious of the charms of the Gest, check out this story from the Sun.
His favourite saying, 'And then she died', has become a camp catch-phrase, while tales of his unfortunately-named maid Vaginika Seaman and an albinos-only hotel have had viewers in stitches.
Yesterday he told Jan Leeming that he gets people in every morning to brush his teeth.
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Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
You thought I'd forgotten, didn't you?
Well, I did, a bit. That's to say, I'd forgotten I would have to actually, like, pick a date.
December's busy for everyone. So I'll just say, on the afternoon of Sunday, 17th December, I shall be in the flat watching The Muppet Christmas Carol. If you would like to come, you're very welcome.
Christmas is plaited from three strands: the Victorian, the Germanic (or Nordic) and the Muppet.
I will be offering lebkuchen and glühwein.
Of course the worst bit in the film.
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Tuesday, November 21, 2006
I don't want to be all down on everything.
Here are some things I'm not bored of:
That story about the Russian guy getting poisoned
The Beatles
Christopher Isherwood and by extension, Berlin
The Office (US version)
UPDATE! What are you not bored of?
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Here are some things I'm not bored of:
That story about the Russian guy getting poisoned
The Beatles
Christopher Isherwood and by extension, Berlin
The Office (US version)
UPDATE! What are you not bored of?
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Monday, November 20, 2006
Bored of:
Borat
Web 2.0
The Guardian's Arts "blog"
BBC newsreaders being all sexy (Did you see the Bond thing they did for Children in Need? It was an abomination.)
Kate Moss
Poker
James Bond
The England Rugby team
The England Football team
The Ashes
Ricky Gervais
Bought sandwiches
List liable to be updated.
UPDATE:
But enough about me. What are you bored of?
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Borat
Web 2.0
The Guardian's Arts "blog"
BBC newsreaders being all sexy (Did you see the Bond thing they did for Children in Need? It was an abomination.)
Kate Moss
Poker
James Bond
The England Rugby team
The England Football team
The Ashes
Ricky Gervais
Bought sandwiches
List liable to be updated.
UPDATE:
But enough about me. What are you bored of?
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You know this Russian who's poorly after eating in a Piccadilly sushi restaurant? I got my lunch from that place on Friday! My bone marrow, as yet, seems fine.
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Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
I'd tried to turn a blind eye to David Hasselhoff as he gathered near Borat-levels of wearying, nudging publicity. So I'd missed his single, "Jump in my Car". It's better than I'd expected. He sounds a lot like Scary Monsters-era Bowie.
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Wednesday, November 08, 2006
When Dougie Houser, M.D. first started I looked up to Doogie. He was older, and cooler, and had good trainers.
Doogie Houser: really quite young
Who created the show? Why, David E. Kelly and Steven Bocho, of course.
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Doogie Houser: really quite young
Who created the show? Why, David E. Kelly and Steven Bocho, of course.
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Tuesday, November 07, 2006
God Bless Pato
I'm sorry, this'll take some jiggery-pokery on your part: you'll have to open new windows (or "tabs") and everything. Here's a slide show of my friend Stuart. As Marty pointed out, it's best experienced listening to this at the same time. Fire up the sound, pause it, start the photos, unpause the sound. Yeah, I know, it's a fag.
I should say, the slide show's worth watching, even without the music.
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I'm sorry, this'll take some jiggery-pokery on your part: you'll have to open new windows (or "tabs") and everything. Here's a slide show of my friend Stuart. As Marty pointed out, it's best experienced listening to this at the same time. Fire up the sound, pause it, start the photos, unpause the sound. Yeah, I know, it's a fag.
I should say, the slide show's worth watching, even without the music.
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Monday, November 06, 2006
I don't like to sound po-faced about the improving march of capitalism, but Google's acquisition of YouTube has made it more difficult to track down Sprockets videos.
Update: found one!
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I'm watching a documentary filmed on the set of Life of Brian. I'm enjoying it, mainly because they come across as a bunch of Dads making silly jokes to show off in front of young waitresses in teashops.
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Friday, November 03, 2006
The humourless and self-important Colin Murray calls it the worst show on the BBC, but we know better: Strictly Come Dancing is great fun. My favourite is Peter Schmeichel. Peter was among the bottom two on Saturday so had to make a plea to the audience to keep him in. "Please vote for me," he said to the camera, "this is one of the best things I've ever done."
To this:
And this:
And this:
We may add this:
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To this:
And this:
And this:
We may add this:
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